How to "Deal With" Difficult Students

Transcript

hey everyone welcome back to my channel my name is amanda rose and before we even get into anything else in this video i definitely want to address the title now being completely transparent with you guys this is not necessarily the title that i would have chosen however when people write to me when they're reaching out whether it be on instagram or even in my comments on my videos everyone usually says this how do you deal with difficult students and what i'm hoping is that most people are really asking how do you teach difficult students right i don't really think that anyone is asking well how do i tolerate difficult students even though the um term deal with can kind of come across in that way and so yes i am admitting that for purposes of people clicking on this video i wanted to title it deal with but in actuality i'm hoping that by the time this video ends that we do leave changing the way that we speak and that we are really ultimately asking is how do we approach teaching difficult students because i don't know about you guys i want every child in my classroom to learn because i know that they each have the ability and the capacity to learn so without further ado if you haven't already please make sure that you so that you can be up to date on every single time i post a video usually on sundays or mondays and let's get into it how to teach difficult students [Music] alright so the first thing i want to say is i understand that this is going to be a very touchy topic and also again even the word difficult students or the description of a difficult student is going to be different for everyone what i may consider a difficult student you may not consider a difficult student or vice versa in all honesty teaching in new york in a high school i think i do deal with a lot of things that just wouldn't bother me compared to if they were happening in another classroom i kind of get the culture i grew up in the same thing i was i was in public school in new york city and so i feel like a lot of times when i'm looking at my students i'm looking at myself and so my perspective may be different i don't know about you guys and so the first thing i do want to address is what exactly are we considering a difficult student for me personally those are usually the students who are disruptive during the lesson possibly bullying other students maybe being disrespectful back whether it be cursing or saying things like they don't care or talking back and so i would classify that as a difficult student anything that has to do with academics or trying to grasp content i would never classify that as difficult so i think i'm assuming that when most people are writing to me they're speaking about behavior when we're discussing difficult students so that's where most of my points are geared towards in this video again i i'm kind of nervous about this one i want to just keep putting out there this is how i would approach teaching difficult students and a lot of it is going to be your tone your behavior your presence in order to address a student that may be giving you a difficult time so i don't want anyone to feel like i'm pointing the finger at you but again i have experienced a lot of this and so these are lessons that i had to learn the hard way and i do think that i could have avoided a lot of confrontation in my classroom if i would have applied these tips sooner so the first tip when it comes to teaching a difficult student is be mindful of your approach oftentimes whether teachers including myself want to admit it or not oftentimes our behavior can escalate a situation the way that we respond to a student who may be combative verbally or defiant the way that you respond will determine how quickly that situation will escalate so first thing i would say is it starts with you a lot of self-control keeping it together as best as possible we're all going to lose it i mean that's just the reality right we're human beings with feelings but the goal is to approach the student and the situation as neutral as possible removing emotions as much as possible because that will allow you to approach the student with a clear mind and also not escalate the situation the one thing that i had a teacher ask me a couple years ago and it has really stuck with me is do you want peace or do you want control do you want peace or do you want control ultimately i don't know about you but i want peace in my classroom i want there to be harmony not just amongst the students but also with my relationship and them and oftentimes teachers try to have too much control in the classroom and that creates a battle of egos between you and your students and so this may not always be the case right i may be generalizing at this point but for sure ask yourself do you want peace or do you want control and sometimes it may be to let certain behavior slide or addressing them after class because in the moment it doesn't really make sense and so again i do think that the approach may be different depending on the student and this is really important to know your students as well but your approach for sure i would say is the number one thing you need to consider the second thing i would suggest now that we have addressed our tone and our presence in the classroom is you should have a consequence ladder for behavior i know that every school may be different but my school had created a consequence ladder the way that you address a first offense maybe you address the student in private second offense is you would have to then pull them out into the classroom and have a conversation third offense is you would have to then maybe get security and call home there are there are levels to this in a sense where the most dramatic or extreme response should be the ultimate last resort kicking a student out of your classroom in my opinion should be the last resort you kick a student out kids are kids right they're going to hold on to grudges think about how many grudges adults hold on to let alone a child that you're probably embarrassed in the classroom and so you want to make sure that the way that you are dealing with behavior in the classroom that there is a standard for it and that you are treating every child the same it doesn't matter if that kid they never do this in class it was their first time that's when too much teacher discretion can get into this and now it really does seem like you're picking on one student versus another and so having a consequence ladder i'm sure you can google a ton of them online having that posted in your classroom it's just really easy so that you can always refer back to it hey you guys just a reminder here's the consequence ladder this is how we deal with situations that arise in class you don't want to just leave it up to teacher discretion because that's when often students will think that you are picking favorites parents will think you're picking favorites then it may be difficult to reel a child in that may be giving you a difficult time because now they may feel like you're picking and choosing consequences for one kid versus another the third thing i would suggest is addressing the student in private oftentimes i've said this in other videos i like to write messages on post-it notes hey stay after class and just put it on the desk as you're walking by maybe your students are taking notes or they're working on an activity and it is a very subtle way of letting them know i'm not going to let you get away with this behavior but i'm also not going to embarrass you in front of your peers now i know i know that there are times when students do things and you have to address the behavior in front of the entire class but what i would also say is again this is where your tone matters and it's important to address the entire class and not just the student hey everyone just a reminder this type of behavior or this is the expectation when you are in my classroom please adhere to the rules please be respectful etc calling a kid out calling them by name it just gets it gets a little it gets a little dicey when you start to pinpoint specific students i like just subtly going over to the desk and just tapping on it in the middle of me teaching if i'm asking a student to read something off the slide i can go to another student and just tap them on the desk sometimes even your proximity just getting a little closer may be enough right sometimes students may get a little guarded or hey you're a little too close to me back up so even just proximity you may not even have to say anything but just getting a little closer to the student standing a little closer could also change the behavior again tapping on the desk things that are subtle but not necessarily confrontational so it's really important to also do a lot of non-verbal cues but then also be very clear on your expectations with a consequence ladder in the beginning of class and it's always important to reiterate those things either daily or weekly or even per semester the fourth thing i would suggest is reaching out to someone in the school community that has experience teaching this student most of the time students that may be giving you a difficult time they do have a really good rapport with someone in the building whether it be their phys ed teacher whether it be their guidance counselor there's usually someone who has had a positive experience with this student and it's really important that you reach out to them and get their advice and kind of reel them in in the process so that the transition of you building a relationship with this student is much smoother especially if trust has already been broken between you and that student getting in another adult from the school community that that student trusts i think would be really really helpful the next thing may be an obvious one but i would suggest not making assumptions about that student and i've been there as well there are so many students where we get wind of the type of student that they are and then by the time they get into our classroom we already have all of these preconceived ideas of who they are as a person the best advice that i could recommend is seeing every single student as a blank slate do not allow another teacher's negative experience taint your view of that child i have an example of this we had a student a senior who was giving a lot of people in the school a really difficult time in and out of trouble whether it be suspensions out of school for long periods of time and when i was reading the roster to one of my colleagues they had said oh gosh you have so and so in that room good luck and that freaked me out but then i went to another colleague and i ended up reading the same list of kids and she ended up saying oh i love that kid this is what you have to do you got to treat them like an adult they demand respect but they're so smart they really want to be involved but the problem is they've been through some real life stuff and people keep treating them like a child you have you have to give them the respect that they deserve because they've been through some real life adult stuff different perspective nothing negative a different view on how to look at that child and then i was able to really understand who they were as a person be really mindful about who you allow to tell you about certain students because if they're going to taint your view it's one thing to say hey this kid really enjoys when a teacher does a versus ah good luck with that kid you know now all of a sudden you're on edge you're nervous but now you don't have any solution to the problem and so really be mindful of which colleagues you talk to when it comes to students i am all about teachers who are solution oriented next thing i would suggest is issue consequences that are related to behavior not to the child's grade if a student is constantly talking in class do not give them a zero for the day if a child is disrespectful do not tell them well okay well let me get this paper now you can't do the work giving a great consequence for a behavior action the two are disconnected behavior actions have to be met with behavior consequences a negative grade should not be connected to a child's behavior grades should be a representation of how that child is doing academically here's why now that seems like a punishment now i'm giving you a zero on an assignment because you didn't listen because you were talking that zero is not reflective of that child's academic performance but it has everything to do about their behavior but when someone looks at their grade when someone sees them in the next school year or the next semester all they know is oh this child scored this but they don't know that you took off so many points because of their behavior but yet that child could have been more than capable of doing the assignment and performing well academically also i believe that a student will respect you more if you issue consequences based on behavior so for example if there is a lateness policy at your school maybe the consequence is now that child has to stay five minutes after school because they were late it is a behavior consequence for a behavior action the last thing i'm going to suggest do not be tough on one kid to prove a point to everyone else in the classroom i've been there i've done that what a mistake make sure that you're following a consequence ladder so that no one could accuse you of doing anything harmful to that child where again you're picking favorites don't do it it's the biggest way for you to lose that student for the rest of the year the worst thing you can do is embarrass a student there's really no coming back from that and if there is it's going to take time to rebuild that relationship or rebuild whatever part of the relationship you did have and so please please please i know that it requires a lot of self-control but do not use one student to be the example for everyone else i personally just think that that is the worst way to ever gain a child's trust and to really get them on your side i don't know about you guys but half of the battle especially when it comes to classroom management is getting the kids to like you and it doesn't mean that every student will please believe me i've had students that i have worked so hard for but it is what it is and a lot of times it has nothing to do with me maybe there are family issues things that are happening outside their parents are getting a divorce a family member just got sick maybe they are now living with grandma and grandpa and they can't live with their parents there's so many things that are happening that can cause a child to just lash out on people who do care and are trying to do the right thing so please please please keep emotions out of it and do not try to make one child the example for the entire classroom i beg of you it will not work and then lastly just to round out this video other things i would suggest yes you should be calling home i know that that's a general thing i know the students will get mad if you end up calling home but it's all about language and the way that you are talking about what happened in the classroom parents should know what is happening with their child again speak with guidance counselors get the scoop on what is happening at home you don't want to call a child who you may now put in danger because you told them what was happening in school but for sure i think parents should know what is happening in school with their child they're entitled to know it's their children but definitely reach out to guidance counselors or maybe if you have social workers in your building if reaching out to the parent may be the safest thing for the child i would say 9 out of 10 times it is but don't be afraid to contact home and let them know exactly what the behavior was and what the proper consequence will be for that student but that's pretty much it hopefully you found these tips helpful on how to approach teaching difficult students a lot of it is just our approach winning them over on our side and to stop making these mistakes when it comes to addressing them and approaching them so that's pretty much it and i will see you all in the next video